@Birdhumms: 70% of being married is just wondering which of us is going to benefit from the life insurance.
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@shariv67: Him "You run like a gazelle." Me "I'm graceful?" Him "No. You'd be easy prey for a mountain lion."
@MooseAllain: In a hotel room. The dog's growling and whimpering. My wife's worried the neighbours will think we're having sex.