@Birdhumms: 70% of being married is just wondering which of us is going to benefit from the life insurance.
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@ValeeGrrl: 4pm Me: How was school today? Kid: ... 6pm Me: Do anything fun today? Kid: ... Bedtime Me: Goodnight! Kid: Guess what happened at school?
@BuckyIsotope: You're in a room with a murderer and someone who makes sandwiches with the crust end of the bread and you have 1 bullet. Who do- "Bread guy"