@Birdhumms: 70% of being married is just wondering which of us is going to benefit from the life insurance.
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@mommy_cusses: Instructor: Welcome to our Summer with Kids Preparedness class. Our first lesson is how to apply sunscreen. Everyone grab an angry raccoon.
@Roweboat13G: For a good party trick, drill a hole in the top of your medicine cabinet and fill it with marbles before you invite people over.
@murrman5: [wife replies to text that I found a genie] dont do a thing im almost home [she pulls up and the car from the cars movie is in the driveway]