@DamienFahey: 70% of the Earth's surface is water. The other 30% is covered in advertisements for The Blacklist.
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@Fred_Delicious: "son, I've had to throw my golf socks out" "Why dad? cos you got... A HOLE IN ONE? HAHA" "No son. I killed a man. They're covered in blood"
@envydatropic: Do people who swirl and sniff their wine in the glass know that it tastes just the same straight from the bottle? Amateurs.
@XplodingUnicorn: Donald Trump's chief speechwriter is a random deck from Cards Against Humanity.
@WilliamAder: I wonder if those Gmail password hackers know how much my dog hates having to learn a new name.