@EliBraden: 71-yr-old Jimmy Page is dating a 25-yr-old. The age difference may seem huge now, but it won't be as big a deal when she's 28 and he's dead.
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@crushingbort: "Mr Bush, do you want my coke?" "Yeah sure" *Bush drinks coke as kid walks away* "Hey kid...catch" *kid turns around to see incoming plane*
@iwearaonesie: the hardest part of your wife going into labor is everyone interrupts the movie by asking questions
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Mom asked about a stock she's owned for 20yrs called Amazon & I've mostly been telling her I love her & reminding her my brother never calls
@TragicAllyHere: My Kid: Are dinosaurs real? Me: yes but they died Kid: why did you kill them? M: I didn't! Kid: did you forget to water them like our plants