@EliBraden: 71-yr-old Jimmy Page is dating a 25-yr-old. The age difference may seem huge now, but it won't be as big a deal when she's 28 and he's dead.
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@crunchenhanced: If you walk into a meeting and say “sorry, I have to go to another meeting.” You can avoid every meeting. You’re welcome.
@justabloodygame: Batman could have used his wealth to help Gotham's poor and disenfranchised. But no, we really needed another violent leather fetishist.
@Reverend_Scott: customer service: so the vacuum works just fine but you want to return it cuz it's... too loud? me: [looks over at dog] that is correct
@lovemydogduck: Last year my ex and I dressed as opposing political parties for Halloween... best hate sex we ever had.