@realHamOnWry: 73% of being white is looking like every limb hears a different beat when you're dancing.
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@P_o_n_k: FRIEND: Is something wrong? ME: Listen...[trying to sweeten the blow]...I think we should put sugar in this cocaine
@P0tterhead_394: My music preferences range between something your grandma would listen to, to something that could potentially kill her.
@RoosterMustache: [with my pet bird at the park] Hot girl: omg ur duck is so cute Me: *covering mr quackers ears* he's a mallard u idiot get away from me