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@ItsAndyRyan: WIFE: I can't believe you slept with my twin thinking it was me ME: Cut me some slack – he was wearing your perfume
@ibid78: "Your word is 'oujia'" -could you use that in a seance? [spelling bee judge puts hand over the mic] I think.. I think this guy just won
@Tylerosis: There's only two types of people in the world; people who think they can categorize everything, and people who are not morons.
@Scdavis24: That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like.... 'I've got nothing man.'