@Manda_like_wine: 7yo: "Who's singing this?" Me: "Franz Ferdinand." 7yo: "But, he died in 1914." Me:
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@QwertyJones3: The older I get, the more my feet hurt. I guess it's true... time wounds all heels.
@GoldenSpirals: Creams that smell like fruit play with your brain. Tempted to eat my own leg. Smells like mango, but would probably taste like rare steak.
@TheMichaelRock: Look, all I'm saying is that the dinosaurs didn't drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
@LOsepyan: According to my next door neighbor's diary I have "boundary issues" can you believe that?