@eliserose5: 8 out of 6 people think I'm terrible at math.
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@OtherDanOBrien: DENTIST: Been flossing? ME: Yup D: [reaches into my mouth & pulls out a copy of the NY Times dated 7/5/14] I put this in there last time
@Versacheetos: Kim - Where is North West? Kanye - *takes out compass* Kim - I mean my baby! Kanye - I'm right here. Kim - Jesus Kanye! Kanye - Yeezus*
@rolldiggity: Either the kids on my street were playing with sidewalk chalk, or this is a crime scene and a bunch of stars and cats just got murdered.