@eliserose5: 8 out of 6 people think I'm terrible at math.
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@SteveSuckington: [first date] Me: so u just wanna poke ur straw thru that little hole Her: I know how juice boxes work Mom: well isn't she a feisty one?
@TinaraMinus10: A handsome man came up to me today & said "Hi what's your name?" I said "You on Twitter?" He said "No" We're getting married on Monday!
@PajamaBen_: *dad walks up to me stroking his beard* son, where do we keep the dog treats again? Im hun- *beard falls off revealing my dog. he runs away*