@1_swarthy_dude: 83% of white folks stressing about their court dates are referring to tennis.
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@Tmoney68: Mistletoe is my favorite Christmas tradition that sounds like a cool as shit superpower.
@NakedWhiteAss: Hey guys, which cell phone provider drops the most calls? I need to get one for my mom.
@charliedelta7: 7: I'm beating you! Me: Ok. 7: I'm way ahead! Me: I see that. 7: I'm gonna win! Me:.... My son on the carousel horse in front of me.
@Token_Geezer: I'm doing the vacuuming.. It doesn't need doing but it's a legitimate way of annoying the kids