@stats_canada: 84% of Canadians think the preparations for the American blizzard are "cute"
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@shatty48: Now that I've removed my windshield wipers I shouldn't be getting anymore parking tickets.
@Jason_maybe: Everyone has that psycho ex we pray we'll never run into again. If you don't you're probably it.
@XplodingUnicorn: Moses: Thanks for the mana in the desert. God: No problem. Moses: But since you can make anything- God: FOR THE LAST TIME, NO PIZZA.
@samalmightysam: -Knock Knock! -Who is it? -The love of your life. - :) Really? -Hahahaha no, it's the pizza you ordered.