@stats_canada: 85% of Canadian moms need you to fix their computer this afternoon
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@david8hughes: *puts spider in the ocean* "Now go free and flourish into an octopus." *cuts girl in half & puts in ocean* "Mermaid probably."
@mellimelle: Each year I get invited to go on vacation with the same group of annoying people but I can't say no because they're my husband & children.