@amydillon: 85% of conversations with my mom is trying to figure out who the "she" in her story is.
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@WillMckenzieNot: At a restaurant: "Would you like a table?" "No, not at all. I came here to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."
@hippieswordfish: ME: im nervous GIRLFRIEND: dont be M: what are some of his interests GF: he likes football [later] GF'S DAD: nice to meet u M: *tackles him*
@TheRobCee: Lost my job naming hurricanes after 3 ex-girlfriends called & complained. In hindsight, including their last names may have been a bad idea.