@Love_bug1016: 89% of my class in high school thought I was good in math because I'm Asian. Luckily the other 27% were smarter than that.
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@TheIronSherk: *turns on deep-fryer* *tosses in chicken nuggets* *adds chamomile and lavender* *recites from the Book of Shadows* Voila, Wiccan Nuggets
@daemonic3: "Choose password" > 123bob "Password must not contain common names & must be complex with at least 50 characters" > gameofthrones "OK"
@Fred_Delicious: *cop pulls me over* "blow into this please sir" "whyy dont you blow on THIS officer!?" *i hand him a flute & he plays it beautifully*
@daemonic3: "Always bring a nail file, scissors, tweezers, a corkscrew, a toothpick and a bottle opener to a knife fight." -- The Swiss Army