@Love_bug1016: 89% of my class in high school thought I was good in math because I'm Asian. Luckily the other 27% were smarter than that.
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@ericsshadow: DOCTOR: *holding $5 bill* what's this for? ME: it's a tip DOCTOR: okay, but you still need to lose weight ME: *hands him $20 bill*
@BeCoco77: True Story: A guy at the supermarket walked up to me today and asked me if I was on twitter. I said no. If you're reading this, I lied.
@notalogin: Girl are you a prescription from my doctor 'cause you might be good for me but I can't read you at all.
@KyleMcDowell86: KANGAROO(tasting beer) *sips* This is too hoppy for me [BrewMaster] I thought youd love "hoppy" beer lol [Kangaroo] (sternly) That's racist