@marcgravell: 8yo: "I've put my tooth in my room but I'm not saying where - it is to see if the tooth fairy is real or not" - this shit just got real
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@FlyJ_: My neighbor is a real douche & always cheating on his wife, so I changed my wifi to KARL IS CHEATING ON YOU AMY for when she needs my wifi.
@justabloodygame: *singing scales* Do, Re, uh... *calls Lionel Ritchie* "Hey" Hello! "What comes after Do & Re on a music scale?" Is it Mi you're looking for?
@Vodkantots: It's like my nana always used to say: If you really hate him that much, just marry him and then get fat.