@ch000ch: 9-1-1 help, someone buried me alive *looks at phone* christ, and there's no wifi
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@RocketRankoon: A little bit of rain and everyone forgets how to drive. Saw one guy try to start his car with a pancake.
@weinerdog4life: If I was a police sketch artist I would be like "is this the guy?" And they would be like "nope that's a barn" because I can only draw barns
@LilBlueBlood: Every time I forget to feed my cat, I thank god that I wasn't a teen mom. Because that child would not be OK today.
@TheTalkingPipe: I read you can have a stroke without displaying any symptoms and I was like "holy shit, I'm definitely not displaying any symptoms!"