@SouthernStylin1: 9 called to ask how much bleach it takes to get purple ink out of carpet and because she's so cute and at her dad's I went with all of it!
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@TheBoydP: The worst kind of insomnia is snoring induced insomnia. That's when every time you start snoring your wife shoves you awake...
@JessicaNorthey: Got a call saying my son got caught lying, cheating & was being expelled. I don't have a son. That kid is one damn good liar
@OfficialMizGin: Want to know the real reason girls go to the bathroom together? The air hockey table. All our bathrooms have one.