@botandy: 9 out of 10 archaeologists agree, the 10th one should not have uttered incantations to unlock the cursed bonds holding that Sumerian daemon
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@joeljeffrey: I didnt know how to tell this guy at Home Depot his fly was down... and he didnt know how to say thanks when I tried to help him zip it up.
@KrazykurtKurt: When I practice my saxophone I have to put the cat in the window, so my neighbours know I'm not kicking it around the living room.
@nicfit75: My kids are giving all the people on this plane a hard lesson in birth control right now.
@rockymomax: BAILIFF: do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the ME: no JUDGE: [flipping through law handbook] what do we do if he says no?