@botandy: 9 out of 10 archaeologists agree, the 10th one should not have uttered incantations to unlock the cursed bonds holding that Sumerian daemon
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@internetluke: [finds money in jacket] nice [finds more money in pants] Today is my day. On a roll Boss: will you please take my jacket & pants off?
@ibid78: If you whisper, "we're being watched," you can hug a stranger for as long as you want. My record is 13 days.
@SteveSuckington: 1st wise man: I brought gold for the baby 2nd wise man: [hiding frankincense behind his back] actually that gold is from both of us
@mattgallo123: <job interview> Do you prefer to deal with things in person or over the phone? me: no