@MoistPork: 9 out of 10 men prefer a girl with a big rack. The 10th prefers the other 9 men.
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@InternetHippo: [i get a phone call] "Hi we'd like to talk to you about your tweets" ME: Wow thank you but I don't do interviews "This is the police"
@Ophoenix1: I've been watching the Crime Investigation channel all day. Murder just seems like the easiest way to solve your problems.
@GrumpyCatsMind: If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you're angry about oxygen and numbers.