@AllyBallyBeal: 9 out of 7 people can't do fractions
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@Weird_Rash: Feeling pretty tough lately and thinking about joining a gang. Any of you guys need an accountant?
@Rachelnoise: 15: MOM, WHERE'S MY NIRVANA SHIRT?! Me: Name THREE songs & I'll help you look for it. 15: ...
@NotthatAdamWest: Saw a bumper sticker that said 'Jesus is the answer.' Two cars later I saw one that said 'Who farted?' Best game of Highway Jeopardy ever.
@GoddessTitty: My neighbor told me to close the curtains when I'm naked, but then I don't get that cool sensation of pressing up against the window glass