@LurkAtHomeMom: 90% of parenting a little girl is chasing her around the house with a hair brush and a ponytail holder.
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@StarWarsProblms: [at the shooting range] Recruit: Sir, I missed every target. Officer: Perfect. *makes him a stormtrooper*
@GarreTheFerret: My bank sends a text with my balance. It's a nice feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary.
@jjhartinger: War & Peace wasn't written to be downloaded on your iPad, Carol. Tolstoy wrote it for you to carry around and impress people with.