@Scimommy: 90% of parenting older kids is making sure they're not in the same room when they have to do homework.
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@JennyPentland: I wonder if caterpillars know they're gonna fly some day or they just start building a cocoon and are like 'why am I doing this'.
@david8hughes: [overhears girl at work crying because her grandad & her dad died this month] Me: not all men are like that
@dorkwing_duck: [PRESS CONFERENCE] Me: I'm going on the record. Yes, I'd go back in time to kill a baby Reporter: you mean Baby Hitler? Me: sure, whoever