@Scimommy: 90% of parenting older kids is making sure they're not in the same room when they have to do homework.
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@ilovepie84: My Boss called me immature today so I gave him a wedgie and made fun of his ugly family.
@KKAlThani: Sometimes I get take out sushi and eat it at an aquarium just to remind the fish who's boss.
@derpintine: 'So Timmy, how did you fall into that well?' 'Oh. I never fell in, I was p- *sees Lassie do cut throat motion* -was jumping in.'