@Scimommy: 90% of parenting older kids is making sure they're not in the same room when they have to do homework.
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@SloanPerry: when you push a pull door and the person behind says "you need to pull" aye cheers lad sure next plan was to start lifting from the bottom
@murrman5: use this coupon for the pizza its expired whats the worst that could happen [calls wife 10min later] hello Im in something called pizza jail
@AaronChewning: *overheard behind me on a plane* Dad: “you’re getting potato chips in Abigail’s hair” 6ish year old son: “calm down Kenneth”