@Scimommy: 90% of parenting older kids is making sure they're not in the same room when they have to do homework.
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@suzieQ0007: 5yo: if superman & batman had a big fight, superman could throw him into space where he'd suffocate'. I'm raising a problem solver you guys.
@TheCatWhisprer: Just Friends is my favorite movie that shows fat guys how to get out of the friendzone through perseverance and becoming Ryan Reynolds.
@BrickCh4News: "A black man follows me when it's sunny outside. When it's cloudy, he goes home." "Brick, that's your shadow."
@Marcmywords2: Someone called me yesterday and said, "Hello, is this Ross" I said " no it's Chandler" And they hung up. So much for trying to be Friends.