@celestinelea90: 90% of the steps on my FiBit are just me wandering around looking for my keys
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@ruinedpicnic: "Well boy," I yell to my dog, seated in the basket of my pushbike as we plummet to the rocks below, "naming you E.T. clearly wasn't enough."
@_NTFG_: I'm not ashamed to say that when I saw everyone was getting these new "selfie sticks" for Xmas I thought it was some new fantastic deodorant
@Alex_N_Chains: "After he ate the shrooms, Mario ate flowers and pretended he could shoot fireballs out of his hands." - Princess Peach, at Couples Therapy