@NightValeRadio: 90% of your body is water. 6% is delusion. 4% is lies.
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@QwertyJones3: I guess the Tupperware lids in my house just graduate and go off to college or something.
@MoneypennyNaked: So I said 'I love you' but he didn't say it back. We haven't spoken since. Maybe he just needs space. Vet: Your cat's fine. You can go now.
@RunwayDan: You won't believe this, kids, but TV used to end. Every day. They played the national anthem, and then it just...stopped. Scary, huh?