@NightValeRadio: 90% of your body is water. 6% is delusion. 4% is lies.
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@Brampersandon_: *runs into wife on the way to see his mistress* Aww are those flowers for me? -Uh...yeah Is there a card too? *with a mouthful of paper* No
@D2BMcG: My reaction to most music that has been released in the last ten years is "what did they just say?"
@bornmiserable: THE INVENTOR OF CRYING: what if I told you that there was something you could do at both weddings and funerals