@slimmy_shady: 911: whats your emergency Me: Come quick, my son has swallowed a condom*Click 911: whats your emergency Me: It's ok, found another one.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@heatherlou_: If I could teach my kid anything it would be do not attempt to lay on my face. Give me my personal space please, tiny leech.
@sammyrhodes: I wonder if girls got mad on dates in the 1700?s because guys kept checking their treasure maps.
@LinajkReturns: If he's hot on your heels, dump him. You do not want a man who looks better in your shoes than you do.