@JasonCarney31: "911 what's your emergency?" MY WIFE IS BEATING MY KIDS! "Okay. I'll send the police" *hangs up. OH CRAP I FORGOT TO SAY "AT MARIOKART"
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@bush_piglet: Yay! my car has a parking sensor and I didn't know. When I reverse too far it makes a banging, crunching noise.
@NikiWithIssues: A cool fun way to stop his snoring so you can finally get some sleep is to separate the head from the body.