@RichHarris2: 95% of dentists recommend teeth.
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@david8hughes: If you see a distressed woman in the mall screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one.
@canadasandra: [getting a massage] Me: I have tension in my lower back. *therapist begins* Me: Lower. Me: Lower. Th: But that's your a- Me: Lower!
@lilgapeach30: Random drunk guy: if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and I together. Me: It's perfect the way it is with N and O together.