@RichHarris2: 95% of dentists recommend teeth.
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@Brentweets: I let an AT&T Customer Service Representative call me Brenda for a half hour because I was too embarrassed to correct him
@swiftenhaal: Carp we hit an iceberg! What am I herring? This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me? You're so shellfish Fin
@philco816: Note on the bed side table read "this isn't working," but I put a quarter in and the bed still vibrates. I don't know what her problem was.
@prufrockluvsong: The waiter who's drawn the short straw today steps up to my table with a gulp. Him: Fresh Parmesan? Me: MAKE IT RAAAAIN!