@jus4golf: 95% of my tweets are the truth. The only thing I lie about are statistics.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Home_Halfway: "My wife and I decided we don't want to have kids." "But...don't you already have 2?" "Yeah."
@Hect0rMayorga: They offered me money to promote a product in my Twitter account, but my dignity is strong, as Axion "The true grease stain remover"
@Piecezilla: Apologies your honor [slides ventriloquist dummy back under my seat] I was told these proceedings were going to be televised.
@canadasandra: Wanna know what it's like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal.