@jus4golf: 95% of my tweets are the truth. The only thing I lie about are statistics.
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@trentistweeting: [playing limbo at Gary's house] GARY: how low can you go? *i sleep with Gary's wife* GARY: wow, that is pretty low
@iwearaonesie: wife: What's the best moment of your life? me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding
@MoneypennyNaked: Sex with me is like going to the movies. It's dark & very loud. Bring candy. You can never predict the ending. Some people leave early.