@ClaytonSykes: Me: I'm done peeing!! Khakis: No you're not.

@UnFitz: Some cultures fear that when someone takes your photograph they steal your soul. You should be fine, though.

@neerjagurnani: Dear autocorrect, at no point in time have I meant to say "I'm affordable" instead of "I'm adorable". Stop embarrassing me.

@patnspankme: I haven't been this confused about what's going on since The Cranberries yodeled that one song about zombies.

@hazelmotes1: Me: This painting really speaks to me. Mona Lisa: You do way too many drugs.