@chuuew: BOSS:You were supposed to get an inconspicuous heist car! ME:No one'll suspect the google car B:It's literally documenting everything we do

@ticknada: Cops: You were driving while intoxicated Me: I was in no condition to walk

@DanMentos: "How did your grammar competition go?" I losed

@tiffpats4eva: Watching The Bible. Didn't realize everyone spoke w/ a British accent back then. Neat.

@sammyrhodes: Probably a good thing I'm not a ghost cause I'd just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.