@FrankTheDoorman: 97% of scientists believe climate change is man-made and causes rising sea levels of oceans. The other 3% believe Frank Ocean is an ocean.
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@justabloodygame: *detective bangs on table* I SAID GIVE ME A NAME! "Uh, Aaron?" Aaron... I like it! *'Aaron' leaves interrogation room, ready for a new life*
@decentbirthday: [Battleship: Guilt Edition] Friend: B6 Me: You sunk my Battleship Friend: Hah yes! Me: But 70 people were on the ship. They had children
@Cpin42: I don’t know who’s worse, the people who sign their cats’ names on Christmas cards, or the cats who refuse to sign.