@gruffybeard: Her: I love that thing you do to make me moan.
Me: *makes another plate of nachos*
@hellohappy_time: [at deli]
me: I'll take a platonic male friend that doesn't treat me like their manic pixie therapist
lady: we have cole slaw
me: ok
@RobDenBleyker: I'll never forget what my grandfather told me before he died. He said "Never forget what I'm about to tell you" then some story about corn.
@Bob_Janke: I have a picture of my uncle standing on a tank he and two buddies destroyed in WWII. I cut my fingernails too short and I might stay home.
@LuvPug: As an adult I've caused the most trouble by pressing 'send'
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