@jonnysun: a•c•q•u•a•i•n•t•a•n•c•e•s (tv show, sitcom): six peopel avoid grabbing a cup of coffee together for 10 years
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@bluebonetbabies: I love how we have a big tv so my 3 kids can crowd around the tiny iPad and argue over not being able to see.
@infinitesimull: Please insert your card Do not remove card Do not remove card Do not re-- REMOVE CARD NOW! REMOVE IT NOW! OH MY GOD ARE YOU CRAZY GET IT OU
@TheBoydP: I'm guessing whoever said "There's no point beating a dead horse" has never been in a zombie apocalypse.
@carlyken: Friend apologizes for mess. Friend has immaculate house. Open her closet. Out comes 78 books, a piano and a gentleman squirrel in a top hat.