@briangaar: A 13-pound baby was born in GERMANY?? C'mon Mississippi, this is why we keep you around
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@myqkaplan: okay, so you're definitely the best at keeping your body completely still, what do you want, atrophy?
@MalcInYourWife: So women draw their eyebrows on daily, and nothing is said. I sharpie on a beard for movember and suddenly everyone has something to say.
@summerofbenny: I avoid being photographed at events held at my apartment complex. I don't need someone pointing to a picture and saying,"That's him."