@briangaar: A 13-pound baby was born in GERMANY?? C'mon Mississippi, this is why we keep you around
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@RandomlyMJ: 8 out of 10 men prefer not to date psychotic women with bad tempers, emotional baggage and daddy issues. To the other two.... Hi, I'm MJ
@DanKCharnley: I'm jealous of turtles because if they don't want to talk to someone, they're like "Nah, dude, busy in my shell right now. Come back later."
@DillDoes: *throws king crab into tank of normal crabs* Go, lead them to freedom, this is your birthright