@briangaar: A 13-pound baby was born in GERMANY?? C'mon Mississippi, this is why we keep you around
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@Screwoff315: I'm tired of this long distance relationship! Time to move the liquor cabinet to the living room!
@daemonic3: FRIEND: Women want guys who take charge ME: ok [later] WAITER: [to date] Ready to- ME: [shoves waiter and grabs notepad] Ready to order?
@AngelaEhh: My bladder has been tested on this road trip. I still don't know how far a 'mile' really is but I can drive 75 of them before I have to pee.
@shwebby2: Whenever I start to disrobe in front of a lady; I always hand her a card that states "A mild sense of Nausea is perfectly normal"