@omically: a 3-way standoff between a duck with a laser pointer, a cat with a vacuum cleaner, and a dog with a loaf of bread
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@JPHaddadio: Well, the mechanic called. Apparently, in addition to a muffler, my car also needs a new car.
@ItsAllCrazyToMe: Think before you yell at your kids. They are the ones who might have to bring you toilet paper in 20 minutes
@Pork_Chop_Hair: *sends you a 13-page love letter & introduces you to my parents in order to scare your hiccups away* *you're cured*
@bigdumbbrad: I only put one eye on my snowman. That way, if it ever comes to life, the lack of depth perception will give me a tactical advantage.