@omically: a 3-way standoff between a duck with a laser pointer, a cat with a vacuum cleaner, and a dog with a loaf of bread
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@abbycohenwl: [spelling bee] JUDGE: Your word is “incorrect” KID: I haven’t spelled it yet JUDGE: No, that’s your word KID: T-H-A-T-’-S JUDGE: No- KID: N-
@TheMichaelRock: My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he's attempting to get his hoodie back. He's in for one hell of a life lesson.
@bouncingblonde: Just made jerk off motions at a group of construction guys. They just stood there staring at each other like "now what?"...all talk eh boys?
@Adar79Angie: I sat down beside this guy in a diner, every time he went to take a bite of his sandwich I'd say nomnomnom. He left. Making friends is hard.