@ericsshadow: A 41 year old gymnast is competing in her 7th Olympics. I just texted my son and offered him $5 to come downstairs and hand me the remote.
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@SortaBad: If you get a tattoo with words, and there is a misspelling, just get a red squiggly line added underneath it and everything's cool
@brianbowman73: We were watching The Discovery Channel on the couch. I was naked. She was afraid. I guess I should have probably introduced myself first.
@iscoff: My uncle started shouting at me about my "misuse" of emoticons and had a heart attack ;)