@lisaOoOo: A 5 day juice diet. They said I would "feel it" working in just 5 days. They were right, I've never felt more hungry in all my life.
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@CroweJam: My wife's favorite position is the one where I lie very still wearing nothing but a toe tag and she starts dating again.
@Book_Krazy: Ok, don't let them know you're a puma Interviewer: We're very impressed! You've got the job! "REALLY!?! I'M SO HAPPY I JUST PUMA PANTS"
@Cryptoterra: Christian politicians hate science because they think it's always talking about two Adams bonding
@Cheeseboy22: I always make it a point to become friends with babies. That's free cake once a year for a lifetime.