@crunchenhancer: A 6'-6" guy doesn't scare me, but my 5'-1" wife does, if you were looking for inspiration to get married.
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@david8hughes: [phone rings] Guy: is your refrigerator running? Me: yes my refrigerator is runn- Fridge [grabs phone]: hello? Yeah actually I do crossfit
@KalvinMacleod: MILEY CYRUS: I never went boatin’ and don’t get how they be floatin’ NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: [slowly rising from the ocean] buoyancy
@bea_ker: That's the third time Adam Sandler's scootered past my house this morning. Dude if you want to go on my trampoline just ask
@KeetPotato: *swims up to girl in pool* so do you.. actually this is quite deep jesus *just disappears*