@crunchenhancer: A 6'-6" guy doesn't scare me, but my 5'-1" wife does, if you were looking for inspiration to get married.
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@BavlyOlwy: Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..
@LlamaInaTux: Turbulence is when the airplane hits someone's family photos backed up in the cloud.
@hippieswordfish: 'welcome to subway how can i-' ME:*punches counter*WHY DOES THE KOOL-AID MAN CARRY A SMALLER PITCHER OF KOOL-AID 'sir-' M: IS IT HIS PISS
@Mr_Kapowski: Betsy Ross: "Let's put some happy little stars in a circle on the flag" Many years later, an heir of hers, Bob, would say something similar