@dreamthievin: A 6-month wait when filing for divorce, but only a 15-day wait when buying a gun. I think the solution for relationship problems is clear.
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@CranalBeads: just when my neighbors think they know me, I sprint across their yard pushing a wheelbarrow full of hair
@jonnysun: *dinosaur at zoo roars at me* "ROAR" whoa wat kimd of dinosaur is this "GROWL" hmm "SHOUT" hmmm "YELL" hmmmmm "HOLLER" oh its a thesaurus
@weinerdog4life: Did you know you can just buy live lobsters? Anyway can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters