@dreamthievin: A 6-month wait when filing for divorce, but only a 15-day wait when buying a gun. I think the solution for relationship problems is clear.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: I consider myself Christlike in that I refuse to believe my parents ever had sex with each other.
@david8hughes: [Joseph & Mary answers door to god] "Mary, you're looking well." [Joseph puts arm around Mary & raises an eyebrow] "Jesus, your dad's here."
@JimmySelfDest: Fight club. Only naps instead. Rules the same. Just no fights. Only secret, uninterrupted glorious naps.
@DaddyJew: 6: can u get me a drink? Me: no, you're 6yo. You can get your own drink 6: fine *goes to fridge Me: while ur there can u grab me a beer?