@Mister_Burnham: A baby is a horrible paper weight because it just keeps rolling off the desk.
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@T_Bonezzz: If you're with me when I die, remember 2 things: 1) Do Not Resuscitate 2) Smash Phone on Ground
@KenJennings: Thanksgiving regret: no one at dinner wanted to talk about why the family members on TV's "Dinosaurs" were all different species of dinosaur
@NYC_Blonde: There should be an option on travel websites that let's you search for "flights that are least likely to have noisy children".