@Mister_Burnham: A baby is a horrible paper weight because it just keeps rolling off the desk.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: Time for bed! *puts phone down* Oops, forgot to set my alarm! *picks phone back up and surfs the web for 7.5 hrs*
@0point5twins: My ex left because I "lack imagination". "Yeah? Well you lack imagination!", I shouted after her.