@Mister_Burnham: A baby is a horrible paper weight because it just keeps rolling off the desk.
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@shanethevein: I'm sorry I punched you when you said "Facebook me". I thought you said "Face punch me".
@nerdreign: Preparing a work evaluation for someone who adds shit to my day on a regular. Wondering if "inbred whackadoodle" paints a full picture.
@xosm: Kid: would you rather be the Evil Queen or the Wicked Witch? M: I'd rather be the Mom K: ooh, right. Much scarier.