@Mister_Burnham: A baby is a horrible paper weight because it just keeps rolling off the desk.
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@UncleDuke1969: “You gotta try the lobs-” - I’ll should tell you… “Yes?” - We’re not having sex. “OK.” - What were you saying? “The chicken here’s great.”
@SaddestFinger: My grandfather told me that during the war he was exposed to irritants like pepper spray and mustard gas. Now he's a seasoned vet.
@h0tmessmama: I sexually identify as an avocado. Not in the mood. Not in the mood. Not in the mood. Oh yes tonight is the nigh- Too late, I'm over it.