@Try2StopME: A baby was born laughing really hard with it's fists closed! The confused Doctor unfolded it's tiny fingers, & found a birth control pill.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@liv_thatsme: "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY 40 POUNDS OF SPINACH?" Me: I cooked it for you. It's over there, on that teaspoon.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Got thrown out of the theater during the Superman movie but was able to sneak back in by putting on glasses.
@robdelaney: Always have a fake name at the ready so you don't tell the cops something stupid, like "Andrew Granola."
@Hellaphantitis: Obama keeps trying to get me to kiss this top secret document from Syria but I keep telling him I'm not the kinda guy who'll kiss intel