@thinkcomedy: A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it's 3am. And you're home alone. And you don't have a baby
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@_Ms_Moneypenny_: I want to surprise my boyfriend by sending him a sexy pic while he's at work, but I can't decide what outfit to put on the cat.
@d_duhwit: *baby crying on plane* Guy beside me: Can there be anything worse then a baby crying on a plane. Me *pulling out kazoo*: Let's find out.
@CM2BTTHD: Our dog runs away so much, I'm just going to spray paint our phone number on her side.