@AntiJokeTyrone: A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it's 3am. And you're home alone. And you don't have a baby
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@Heather2Go: I'm so bad with directions that every time I try to go to Pound Town I end up in the Friend Zone.
@robesman: in 2016 if i walk in to your place and ask for the wifi password and you give me a paper with 26 letters and numbers i'm leaving
@jwoodham: JOB REQUIREMENTS: Must have a college degree. Must have 5 years experience. Must have volunteered as tribute and won the 74th Hunger Games.
@ruinedpicnic: parent: why did you do this to my child willy wonka: well you see they tried to eat some chocolate on a tour of a chocolate factory they won