@Mike_Bianchi: A bathroom scale that when you stand on it just says "Your body is but a point in space; your life, a differential of time."
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@Shelts99: My wife wants me to make her scream in the bedroom. The 32 lego pieces & 6 upturned plugs, I've strategically placed, should do the trick.
@ScaryMommy: My parents, 2017: "Put down your phone and hang out with your kids." My parents, 1989: "Shhh, not now, we're watching TV."
@theshantilly: Sitting down and tilting your head to the side will increase your chances of food intake by 82%. - Dog Logic
@Steven37366100: Friend: What a cute baby! Boy or girl? Me: Guess Friend: What’s its name? Me: Spork