@Mike_Bianchi: A bathroom scale that when you stand on it just says "Your body is but a point in space; your life, a differential of time."
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@AimeeHelene1: I've developed a rash from my wedding ring, which can only mean my body is rejecting marriage.
@FierceMess: Wanna live a long life? Get married. I guarantee you'll change your mind real quick.
@thesulk: Then a guy with a rope necklace and flat brimmed hat came in and everyone felt better about their own problems.