@Mike_Bianchi: A bathroom scale that when you stand on it just says "Your body is but a point in space; your life, a differential of time."
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@ilovepie84: Your Ex is like spilt milk. If you put newspaper over them its like the mistake never happened.
@gorrdano: Thanks, I wrote the tweet. There's no need to reiterate it back to me with quotation marks.
@HollyMemphis: Praying mantis walks up to his buddies with no head, "Guess who got laid last night?"
@AsYouNotWish: Proud to announce that I’m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don’t know we’re racing.