@oldmanweldon: A bee is willing to end it's own life just to cause you a tiny amount of pain. I can relate to that level of pettiness.
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@Anon_o_Mom: My husband accidentally texted mewting instead of meeting. Now I can't stop picturing a bunch of kittens in a conference room.
@Kernsti: I'm always terrified when someone knocks on the door while I'm home alone as if murderers and burglars knock first
@UncleDuke1969: My daughter, filling out a college app, called me at home to get my home number. Big shout out to the ex-wife for pissing in my gene pool.
@Miz_Mental_Case: If by prepped for Irma you mean have I eaten all the ice cream before the power goes out then yes I'm totally prepped for Irma.