@Kyle_Lippert: [A bengals fan watching Titanic] I can't wait until the end when Jack and Rose get married
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@Reverend_Scott: Good thing Father's Day is only one day. I don't think I could stand to be a father longer than that.
@mantej: I was in a gang once — we used to carry pocket knives & wear all green with blood-red bandanas around our neck. Wait, that was Boy Scouts.
@simoncholland: My daughter put a horse's head in my bed this morning. It was from an animal cracker but conveyed the message pretty clearly who is boss.