@imadepoopstoday: A better name for the Pope mobile would be a 'Christler'.
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@LMHPhotog: Asked a librarian for a book about Pavlov's dog & Schrödinger's cat. She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: News: Hillary won the debate! My friends: Bernie won the debate! Trump: I won the debate! Huckabee: Asian people eat dogs!
@Peauxtassium: I just cleaned out the change at the bottom of my purse and now I have an extra $17,000.
@egg_dog: [death row] Guard: Any last words? Me: [smugly] photosynthesis. Guard: … Me: it sounded longer in my head.