@boring_as_heck: A big thank you to whoever spraypainted "KARATE" on the side of my truck. Cops are scared to give me tickets now.
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@Mehrwane: Facebook: You have more friends on Facebook than you think. Me: You have higher expectations than you think.
@djdarrellripley: I can be a real tiger in bed. No, wait, wait... What's that animal that plays dead?
@SemFitty: Why are sloths one of the 7 deadly sins? Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.