@realHamOnWry: A bird in the hand is never as fun as a hand in the bush.
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@adamrensch: *walks into Kinko's* YO I NEED A CAT SCAN "I'm sorry sir, we don't--" *opens bag & removes a terrified cat* I ONLY NEED ONE COPY. IN COLOR.
@thepunningman: [Restaurant] "Good evening sir, would you like to hear the specials?" Yes please "THIS TOWN (AHH AHHH) IS COMIN LIKE A GHOST TOWN"
@scriptdave: Biden: I wanna join the protest. Obama: Joe, we've been over this. Biden: But they're-- Obama: How about some ice cream? . . . Biden: Okay.