@piyush938: A birth certificate is a basically a baby receipt.
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@rolldiggity: "They say penguins can't fly. Can't? Or never got the chance?" I whisper in the penguin's ear, shoving him out of the aircraft.
@SirEviscerate: Due to a gypsy curse, I gain weight each time I consume more calories than are burned by my basal metabolic rate plus daily activities.
@teen_news69: PISSED: teen gets fed up with teacher "can i use the bathroom?" "i don't know, CAN you?" *takes deep breath* *pisses all over teachers desk*
@slyoung5: You're suppose to wear clean underwear in case you're ever in an accident. I wear a new pair of shoes every day in case a house lands on me.