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@thom_ebooks: a bottle of cyanide labeled GHOST PILLS
@shanethevein: My wife told me some guy at the bar was buying her drinks all night to get me jealous.
We'll it worked. I wish he was buying me drinks.
@sween: In Canada, she's Kilometery Cyrus.
@kwirkyKerri: Brings donuts to work because if I can't be skinny neither can you.
@Sarcasticsapien: It's like the TSA doesn't even care relationships end cause we can't run through the airport and stop someone from getting on a plane.
@rockymomax: [Jesus entering surf contest]
Judge: What type of board will you be riding?
Jesus: [looks at feet]
They're using boards?