@moooooog35: A bright side to having kids is that if I'm ever trapped in my car I have 3 years worth of half-empty water bottles and goldfish to live on.
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@LostInMyWorld97: Dog tried taking me for a run. I wasn't having it. I made her drag me the whole time.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Marriage Tip: If your husband is watching golf, show him you're interested by repeatedly asking "why doesn't our lawn ever look that nice?"
@badbanana: When I want something a little healthier than an ice cream sandwich, I usually go for an ice cream salad.
@Br00klyn_BeAr: Do girls imagine themselves sucking in a invisible spaghetti when they're about to take a picture?