@HatfieldAnne: A brightly-colored van drives slowly down our street. Kids gather excitedly. It is the Edible Arrangements truck. We are all betrayed.
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@j0hnonline: Hi we're a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can't ever find our dog.
@murrman5: what's on your back? "a katana" what? "it's a japanese sword used...you know what *takes back résumé* I don't think I wanna work here"
@QwertyJones3: Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I just want a girl who gets at least 100 likes on every selfie.
@ArfMeasures: [Looking at plans for building Rome] ME: How long will it take u? BUILDER [shrugs] A day at most ME: Are u sure?! B: Yeah easy, trust me